Ive Been Hiding!!!

Well ive been very busy lately getting everything ready for the little boy due in 7 1/2 weeks
i know its gone soo freaking fast.. i remember the day i bought the pregnancy test and laughed cause there was no way i could be preg.. now i have a little boy inside kicking me just because he can

we had 4d scans done the other week.. i cried because its all started to feel real.. there is a difference between a normal ultrasound and seeing something that real inside my stomach...

we have many photos of him picking his nose, yawning, waving and more

i havent really got anything to talk about so ill end it here.. just wanted to update as i now have a follower YAY!!!!!

Where Did My Tax Go????

ok so i got my lovely little payout from the government
i sat there looking at the amount with all the spending options i had
*shoes
*clothes
*hair dressers
*shoes
*make up
*DID I MENTION SHOES!!!!

only to quickly snap out of that dream and think of all the baby items that still needed to be bought

so the inlaws decided to buy a few items aka car seat and cot but that still left me like ahh EVERYTHING ELSE!!
so in one day i managed to spend a decent chunk lmao good bye $500
by the time i donated back to centrelink (long story) i was down another $500
which left me a grand.. that could still buy some nice shoes

nope more baby stuff was needed..
so over the rest of the weekend i spent another $1000
and what do i have to show for it..
a chest of drawers, a cot, a pram, a capsule,some fantastic nails :D (i had to spoil myself!!) oh and a shit load of clothes and other little nick nack bits

am i happy with all my purchases..
yes but there was a really cute pair of shoes that should be mine!!
i just hope my lil man appreciates my tax money
hahahahaha

apart from all that lovely money wasting i decided to sign myself up for a phone contract..
(ive never wanted a phone plan) and to top it off i got the new iphone 4!!
why?? im not sure!! did i need it? nope my phone is perfectly fine..

im just going to blame it on the pregnancy hehehe
its worked with everything else..


well thats my post not very exciting but hey my life isnt very exciting..

i need to wait for my cot to arrive in the mail..
and i shall give you the review of my new phone soon :P

Sleepless In Melbourne

so it has officially started..
i normally sleep for a good 12 hours or more a night don't even attempt to wake me before mid day, but baby thought it would be hilarious to kick the absolute crap out of my stomach at 4am this morning.
i mean seriously im supposed to love someone that kicks me so hard i feel like my stomach will tear open at any moment and out pops a karate kid!!!

its bad enough that i have to put up with daniel in the bed insisting on giving me a cuddle cause he loves me.. i know it sounds cute but it involves me being pushed right to the edge of the bed holding on for dear life before i finally crack the shits and kick him so hard he moves..
i know im such a loving girlfriend

lets hope the 4am kicking wake up calls stop just as fast as they start otherwise daniel will have to put up with crazy, tired, pregnant bitch and i can tell you he hates when she comes to visit

lets just pray i sleep tonight otherwise there will be a visitor tomorrow :D

Ok So I Forgot Again

Im just going to call it baby brain..
i spend so much time reading other ladies blogs i forget about mine
as it is no where near as interesting..
i have fallen in love with Good Golly Miss Holly she has given me hours of laughing at a computer screen (like an idiot) but who cares..
another fav of mine is Ramblings Of A Wife And Mama
she is foo creative.. i recommend checking her out..

so basically if i dont blog its because im busy looking at these blogs and the sooner you check them out the sooner you will thank me :P

update with my little peanut!!!
he is now 23 weeks along and constantly kicking me
ill update with a new ultrasound on the 28th.. yay for 4d ultrasounds

well im done for now
so ill leave you with two awesome sites to keep you busy

xoxoxo

Blogs Are For Blogging

ok so ive gotten a bit slack..
so sue me!!
between the pregnancy the family bullsh*t
and everything else in between posting on this site just wasnt one of my top priorities
so here goes i shall fill you in on everything little tiny ass detail that you may or may not find interesting..
im not 21 weeks pregnant and im expecting a little baby boy..
i know i know i should be excited but the thing is i just never wanted a son.. i know that boys are more affectionate towards their mothers and bla bla bla but is it so bad that i wanted a little girl so i could braid her hair and teach her how to do make up and all those girly things ohwell i wont be doing any of that with this child
maybe my next will be a girl.. i feel a little bit more sain because i was actually diagnosed with gender disappointment disorder i know what your thinking is that even a real disorder well i didnt believe it till i was told i have it..
it doesnt mean you will love your child any less it just means that your upset your not having the gender baby you wanted..
WOO HOO IM NOT CRAZY (MUCH!!!!!)

now its fricken tax time to make everything worse i went over my tax and looks like im having a good year.. i get all my tax back all 2 grand of it..
my partner on the other hand he paid as much tax as what i earned in the past financial year and he will be lucky to get $500 back.
it makes me feel sorry for all those people who work a full week every week for a whole year and end up with nothing to show..
they are telling the truth when they say you work to live and live to work. you spend your whole life working to afford the house you live in the car your drive but at the end of the day how much time do you actually get to enjoy it???

i will leave you with that question.. stay tuned for my next rant (b*tch)

xoxoxo stacey & baby boy

20 Weeks

So i am almost 20 weeks pregnant now
and i found out this week we are expecting a BOY!!
everything is going so fast.. it still feels like january to me..
i dont really have much to post about so i just wanted to update with a pic

xoxo stacey

still pregnant and deff still tired

ok so im now almost at 12 weeks and it is really going fast
my belly is getting that little bit bigger each week
still not very noticeable.
i went and saw a gyn and she told me it was girl year for her and every mother she has seen is having a girl.. hey maybe it is my lucky day
im really not fussed what i have as long as bubz is healthy but with DH family being all boys i would really like to break that and have one girl at least..

alot of my friends have disappeared since finding out that i was pregnant.. they act all excited but simply fall off the face of the earth when i try and contact them.. its a bit disappointing but i guess its the tough times in life when you find who your real friends are.

well i guess thats all i have to rant about for today

xoxoxo stacey & baby

How Cute

i got to see my baby (aka peanut) for the first time last week. and im really glad that i got such an early ultrasound.
i cant believe i have a little heartbeat inside of me.
i think im having a girl (well i really hope so)
i cant wait 7 weeks to find out the sex..

ohwell i will post my next ultrasound when i see it

Happy Birthday To Me

Well i turn 21 today no drinking of course now that im pregnant.
im off to this concert called supafest (pitbull, akon, eve, jay sean, sean paul)
i guess its a great way to celebrate turning 21 with my friends.. at $190 a ticket for vip its looking like a great night

Baby

Ok so maybe im overreacting but i swear this baby is getting pleasure out of making me sick and not letting me sleep..
my sleeping would have to be the worst. im normally a night person but now i find the need to be in bed by 7/8pm and up by 5/6am and thw worst part is through out that whold night i may only sleep two three hours.. even though i am so early in my pregnancy i deff dont think this is normal..

this baby is deff like its father..

Pregnant

Is Pregnant!!!
Approx 6 weeks now.
so far so good. no morning sickness
i will keep everyone posted

My Life!

so ive decided to do everything i have ever wanted to do..
my life is way to short to waste it living day by day to everyone else's expectations
im hoping to be engaged by the end of the year otherwise ill be putting my foot down...
my 21st birthday party is starting to look more like an epic fail then a joyous occasion in my life
thanks to the rph i no longer have the funds to pay for my party but dont have the option of having the party at my house as i dont want the whole world knowing my address
im moving to queensland in three years going to get that perfect apartment near the beach..
get away from the family and everyone who bring me down.. my fresh start with my best friend oh and daniel to hahaha
and as for school i guess i better knuckle down.. i dont know where my enthusiasm has gone..
i must have left it on the train ohwell its to late to turn back now....

ill keep you posted

xoxo stacey

School Time

i think im going crazy
ive actually enrolled myself back in to school
in ten short months i will have a diploma in events managment
and certificate 3&4 in business admin
am i crazy????
ten months to learn all that i think i might be
so im busy searching ebay for a desk big enough to do all this work on...
ohwell i guess it kills some extra time ive just got to fit working into this equation some how..
ill keep you posted

xoxo stacey

Dazed & Confused

so once again im stuck in a rut
im second guessing everything in my life atm
and that even includes my relationship
i dont know what i want in my life
i dont know where i want to be
all i know is i want to be a mother i want to be a wife
but im not sure if its going to happen
people are raising doubts in my mind
and im just running out of options
do i go back to school or do i get another job
do i stay in this relationship or do i move on
im good at giving advice i just cant find the solution to my problems
ahhhhh HELP!!!

Baby Time??

Its been alot of late night arguments way to many hospital visits
and a hell of a lot of your to young you cant be ready
but i think i am....
i think im ready to take the next step if only my body wants to go along
i sit here and go through my facebook looking at all my friends who are now amazing mothers
i think back to the days when they all bet i would be the first one to have a baby
but it didnt happen that way..
alot of my friends celebrated their 21st with gorgeous little babies in their arm..
what makes me so diffrent??
ive been in a relationship for two and a half years now..
longer then alot of my friends yet im still just the girlfriend and i dont think it will change for a long time..
i want a baby more then he will ever know my past has left a massive whole in me that is waiting to be filled by the little pitter patter of babies feet.. by the late night crying.. and most of all the look in your childs eyes when they look up at you with such amazement..
is it so bad to be 20 and want a baby
is it bad to give up everything you wanted or have for this one peice of happiness
personally i think it is. i think being a mother is the best present i could ever recieve... and if i never got to go over sea's or i never got that brand new car im fine with that because i would never be upset i would never regret my decision....

but what if i cant fall pregnant....... (which is a very high possibility)
then what do i do.. could i still be an amazing mother to a child i know is not mine.....
would the child still love me the same if i wasnt the biological parent???

ive had so many failed attempts im starting to think i will never be a mother.....
ill just be that girl who loves everyone elses child that little bit more then i should because i will never have my own........

i guess i just have to wait and see..........................................


xoxoxo stacey

Almost 21

My 21st is only months away and ive already started the planning
but knowing i wont have a whole lot of cash but want to make the place look fancy im struggling on idea's
im having it at my local and which means that it has to look respectable.
apart from the obvious table decorations what else can i do.. i really want to have a playboy theme if possible but i can not find playboy party decorations to save my life...
if people could give m some idea's that would be awesome..

xoxoxo stacey

All In 1 Week

Ok so in one week ive managed to
*get an operation
*get fired from work
*deal with the police
*get denied for a car loan
*not get accepted for that job
*fight with my partner
*
*
*
ill leave a few stars blank because there is still two days left of the week alot can happen..
so right no im trying to get a car so i can get a new job.. but without a car it makes life hard..

i will keep you posted
xoxoxo stacey

So Its That Time Again

I Have Yet Another Operation Only 3 Hours Away..
Ive Been Awake For Approx 72 hours now, between work, my social life and my partner sleep never fit in..
so ive got a colonoscopy today.. yay nothing better then feeling violated.. and trust me that area is a NO GO ZONE!!!!
it means that ive once again been put on laxatives.. ive starved myself for 3 days knowing the outcome but yet im still off to the toilet every couple of minutes..

they dont know why they are doing this surgery its just another one in the long list of possible answers that just involves me laying there and putting up with the after marks..

my social and home life has taken a turn for the worst with my partner and i arguing more then ever about me constantly being so distant.. its hard ive go so much on my plate..

i recently found out that my parents are getting a divorce. my father (if i can call him that) has been cheating on my mother for the past 7 or more years out of a 20 year marriage..

my 18 year old brother is another complete story on his own i could spend hours going through him and his life.. but basic story is he is suicidal over my parents break up, has a drug problem and is also a homosexual which all together is one big problem...
his sexuality is none of my business but the way he gets picked on and often bashed up is unfair.. it makes me feel guilty for not being able to protect my brother (who i do not have a good relationship with)

so between all this and a whole lot more im really looking for my escape and i have found it here..
weather or not anyone reads this i dont care but the fact that i can write it all and get it all off my chest is a big relief..

well must prepare my self for todays op and i will post later today hopefully on the after marks of today..


xoxoxo
stacey

First Post

Ok So ive had this blog for about 9 months now but im just getting around to writing my first blog now.

i guess i can start with the basics
im the kinda girl who will bottle everything up and then explode

my other half is my better half he is there when i need him. ive lived with him since day one, two and a half years later we are talking about the future and what we want.
we fight like crazy and i tend to slam alot of doors.

my girlfriends are my escape when you need that time to goof around they are always there with no judgements

my car is my life. i love driving with no destination where ever i end up is fine with me.. which sometimes ends up with me and friends going interstate without planning it.

i also have alot of health issues and find it hard to deal with at times. i fight for endometriosis and the woman who suffer from it. you are not alone in this fight.

im very opinionated and will fight till im blue in the face. i know alot about things that are sometimes not worth knowing. i plan things out to the second which is quite funny because i tend to be very spontaneous aswell.. quite contradictive dont u think.

there will be plenty more posts coming
about my love my life and the decisions im yet to make

xoxo Stacey