So Its That Time Again

I Have Yet Another Operation Only 3 Hours Away..
Ive Been Awake For Approx 72 hours now, between work, my social life and my partner sleep never fit in..
so ive got a colonoscopy today.. yay nothing better then feeling violated.. and trust me that area is a NO GO ZONE!!!!
it means that ive once again been put on laxatives.. ive starved myself for 3 days knowing the outcome but yet im still off to the toilet every couple of minutes..

they dont know why they are doing this surgery its just another one in the long list of possible answers that just involves me laying there and putting up with the after marks..

my social and home life has taken a turn for the worst with my partner and i arguing more then ever about me constantly being so distant.. its hard ive go so much on my plate..

i recently found out that my parents are getting a divorce. my father (if i can call him that) has been cheating on my mother for the past 7 or more years out of a 20 year marriage..

my 18 year old brother is another complete story on his own i could spend hours going through him and his life.. but basic story is he is suicidal over my parents break up, has a drug problem and is also a homosexual which all together is one big problem...
his sexuality is none of my business but the way he gets picked on and often bashed up is unfair.. it makes me feel guilty for not being able to protect my brother (who i do not have a good relationship with)

so between all this and a whole lot more im really looking for my escape and i have found it here..
weather or not anyone reads this i dont care but the fact that i can write it all and get it all off my chest is a big relief..

well must prepare my self for todays op and i will post later today hopefully on the after marks of today..


xoxoxo
stacey