Baby Time??

Its been alot of late night arguments way to many hospital visits
and a hell of a lot of your to young you cant be ready
but i think i am....
i think im ready to take the next step if only my body wants to go along
i sit here and go through my facebook looking at all my friends who are now amazing mothers
i think back to the days when they all bet i would be the first one to have a baby
but it didnt happen that way..
alot of my friends celebrated their 21st with gorgeous little babies in their arm..
what makes me so diffrent??
ive been in a relationship for two and a half years now..
longer then alot of my friends yet im still just the girlfriend and i dont think it will change for a long time..
i want a baby more then he will ever know my past has left a massive whole in me that is waiting to be filled by the little pitter patter of babies feet.. by the late night crying.. and most of all the look in your childs eyes when they look up at you with such amazement..
is it so bad to be 20 and want a baby
is it bad to give up everything you wanted or have for this one peice of happiness
personally i think it is. i think being a mother is the best present i could ever recieve... and if i never got to go over sea's or i never got that brand new car im fine with that because i would never be upset i would never regret my decision....

but what if i cant fall pregnant....... (which is a very high possibility)
then what do i do.. could i still be an amazing mother to a child i know is not mine.....
would the child still love me the same if i wasnt the biological parent???

ive had so many failed attempts im starting to think i will never be a mother.....
ill just be that girl who loves everyone elses child that little bit more then i should because i will never have my own........

i guess i just have to wait and see..........................................


xoxoxo stacey